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Guess who got to spend a 1/2 hour in school with a misbehaving child? Well the morning was good

Moments of Sweetness

Because there has been so much painful and negative emotion in their life your interaction with a child with RAD  is often painful or at least hard. so when it is good it is actually exquisite in the joy. I had anticipated a rough morning as Daniel and Dannalee had school but all the Jr high and High did not so it was only two I was getting up and out the door ( and it and been an unusually late night from a church activity) Back to the story. Daniel did every thing I ask and even did responsibilities  without being ask.  With so many thorns I am thankful for these sweet and good rosy moments!

The miracles continue

We have been home home almost 3 weeks now. After the first week  we felt our family boat was swamped and almost capsized when we realized how bad Daniel's RAD was. We have found a counselor who has worked with severe RAD kids and post adoption. and no she does not speak Russian bur her husband does! she gave me a Book "Transforming the difficult child"  and WOW It is a life saver and the life we pray to save is Daniel. Yes, my heart still sink when I see the Principal on my caller ID, but I am really pleased  with the improvement already. What I am the the most pleased with is how the Lord has changed my heart to think different with Daniel and the patience and understand in my heart. I am not sure which the greater miracle the improvement we see in him or the change in my heart! ( probably the change in my heart because I know Daniel progress is  the baby steps forward and sometime leaps backwards!) The other children are adjusting also, at first there was some anger at the major changes in our home due to Daniel.( Or just his anger rubbing off)  Then my sweet Ilia regression to more orphanage behavior Yikes! But a couple of sick day with Mom attention 24/7 he seems back on track too.  The boat is righting itself and we are moving ahead again!

Overwhelmed.

Why do we start life with these kids so tired from our jet lag and then try to help them adjust to this life altering change.I vacillate between grateful and amazed at how well Lydia and Ilia are dong and how they give me hope when I remember the rough first few weeks with them were. On the other hand I am just OVERWHELMED with Daniel's very hard transition. We so knew he would be harder and we thought we where prepared. NOT! It is so hard to find the delicate balance of showing them love and positive attention and then keeping then on track with the critical  thing they have to do and change. Like not touching other property, washing hand so the whole family does get sick. Yes he is welcome to snack and have the bananas and apples but then need to eat dinner with family. He need to respond to me when I ask him to come, stop, etc. So in the mean time the kids are all getting  locks on their doors or boxes to lock their stuff in until he can learn to trust and heal and be taught different coping mechanics! So does anyone know a Russian speaking counselor or do we just work on language,  love, and trust until his English is enough for an English speaking counselor?
I want to end on a positive note. Lydia and I were talking about Daniel's hard time and she said " Yes it was hard and we were bad when we first got here but then we found God and changed!"
Please Lord help us all change!

Run away!

Friday was one of those rough adjusting day !We took Birth certificates etc to get Daniel enrolled in school
 6 th grade. We talked with the principal he stated he would talk with the Superintendent  as Daniel is 13 . He calls me back and say the superintendent believe he should be in 7 so I call him and ask him to met with with Daniel and I . He goes on about how  kids drop out of high school when are  not age appropriate. I ask him to look he looks and behaves like a 10 year old and then and after I have Daniel leave, I  explain Daniel has been in 6 grade in Ukraine, that he is developmentally  more where my 10 year old is not where his 13/14 also adopted siblings are. I explain he is used a class size of 12 with same teacher all day and that he has been at the bottom of the food chain. I will not throw him into JR High to be at the bottom again. Lastly Ilia is doing wonderful but putting the two together may bring out some orphanage behavior..  I don't know if I convinced him or my last line was I would rather home school him than put him in the jungle of Jr high.I did promise to evaluate in 6 months or a year if we would advance him to age appropriate class (  I will be glad to if he has grown up that much in the next year.)
So has any one experience the long term effect of keeping these adopted kids back? My second Daughter had a Aug 25th Birthday I did not send her to school until she was 6 and I NEVER regretted  it!

I am sure he sensed my tension. after the meeting Then we go for a haircut I made a big mistake of not asking him through Lydia or Ilia what he wanted. so it was too short on top and note short enough on the sides so now I have a  pouting,  mumbling child. We get home and he takes off on the Bike before I can say anything Yes he has been with Ilia on the paper route but not off himself. I go to my bike to go with him and it is flat. then I get a phone call from the YW president. I was call to 1st counselor the week I left for Ukraine (guilt guilt) we talked as  I am  watching for him to come back. After  20 min I get in the car to go looking for him, spend another 20 looking for him when I get a call from the Jr high he has gone there I assume to find his siblings. I find him playing basket ball with the coach who tells me he had been riding his bike around the track watching. Of course when he does not respond when yelled at to get off the track when they realize he does not speak English. the put it together who he belong to and call me. The coach tell me he can stay and have PE with the kids ( Not my kids another class) I say no we are not rewarding him. I tell  him Ilia ran away on me the first week he was home. He was surprised, the coach loves Ilia.
We go shopping for clothe so the evening was good until we got home I I tried to explain  to Daniel through translation not to leave like that with out telling me and to stop swearing! I actually  said it firm but nice I had waited hours to calm down. Well he he is upset and tries to stomp down stairs  before prayer ( maybe we should have prayed before the lecture. Well I called him back a little sharply.  Lydia tells me after he was really cussing about having  to pray.  So I go to sleep praying  we can teach him to be grateful for prays , that is why he he is here and why he has what he has. It funny it like giving Birth you forget how hard it is until you are going though it again thinking , Why did I do this again!

Tender mercies!

As I stated in my last blog, I meet a mom flying on the same flight with me at least to chiocago. In the Kiev airport we also met up with the Roaches ( an elder couple missionary who have a  part in the story because it was from their apt Yura would  translate when we Skyped Daniel. There was also  a sister missionary I had met in Zap last trip and then in Dnipro. So we all got on plane to Frankfurt.  Little Vaila did not do so well the first leg and was biting and hitting her mom.Obvious first plane ride. Well as we all had 3+ hours in Frankfurt we all hung together. Daniel was an angel with Valia playing balloons with her, giving her ride chasing her down for us. ( she is moves well for having CP. The sister missionary was telling me how sweet he was talking to her. We separated from the missionary as we left. I confess we medicated Valia for the next flight. She slept  a while when as we where sitting 4 rows behind with a empty seat beside us the last few hours she sat with Daniel and me. The descent was the hardest I have ever had. They had fed us spicy food the last hour the cabin temp and really hot and then a really bumping descent. I personally was trying not to toss my cookies.As I glanced around the cabin people where grabbing those little white bags. I am fanning myself Daniel is fanning himself and Valia and with the other hand they are hold each other very tight. So sweet! Laura and I had to separate in Chicago but  not without realizing how wonderful the Lord is to help his children out!
  If course getting into Salt  Lake was wonderful to see my family ( Ilia was the first to my side again for hugs and kisses! Thanks to all of you for coming to welcome us home!

Last day in Kiev!

I love meeting other Families who are adopting! I met a mom at the medical appt with a darling five year old with mild CP . We are flying out together (tender mercy). Then at the embassy I  ran in a mom I met at our SDA  appt. We met up for McDonalds tonight. I have spent 20 min trying to download a pictures with no luck I know this is easy for  most of your I just struggle with a computer! Check back in a few day and I will have  pics! ( When I get home and have Derrick help me!)  One interesting note every thing is taking more time  court dates, tax Id's, passport but the good new is the new Embassy, it is soooo Fast my first appt took 15 min. Today it only took 30 min and I walked out with a VISA!!!